These are the Random Quasi-Scientific Theories as advertised in the four big glowing letters at the top of the screen.

Most of these theories date from between April 2005 and March 2007. (Although for more recent theories I have one small note about negative zeroes and a potential description of militant armadillos that may or may not get written up any time soon.)

Amongst these pages you'll find:

• solar systems that orbit giant salamis
• ducks that cause gravity
• step-sideways transformers
• time travel
• Wallace and Gromit
• magnets with east and west poles
• Doctor Who
• the Evil Domesticated Pets universe cluster
• a tetrahedral baking tray
• one-third of the end of the universe

...but I'm not telling you where. You'll just have to read through the whole lot now just to try to find the graviton ducks and baking trays. Good luck.