Dinosaur Extinction Theories

The Dinosaur Extinction Theories are some of the only hypotheses that aren't by me or Nick. This time, JJ has come up with twelve contradictory theories about how the dinosaurs became extinct.

1. They were wiped out by aliens. The aliens flew in from another planet, and gave the dinosaurs semi-human intelligence, so that the dinosaurs could work in factories to build giant Wal-Marts and McDonalds to be sent across the universe. In the factories, the dinosaurs were only fed super-size Happy-Meals, and they all died after ten years from obesity. However, the aliens also died when their ship crashed, creating a large crater that led to the meteorite theory, 65 million years later.
2. The dinosaurs all had super-human intelligence. They built machines that could see the future, and all died of depression.
3. The dinosaurs were all super-intelligent. They invented IKEA and Wal-Mart. However, IKEA and Wal-Mart took over the entire retail industry. In the horror of realisation, all the dinosaurs committed suicide.
4. They saw the future, saw us, didn't like it, and died.
5. They died of diseases brought by aliens.
6. An experimental type of hot sauce exploded.
7. They read the Discworld books, went looking for a giant turtle, and never came back.
8. They invented Doctor Who, believed it, and died.
9. Nuclear war.
10. They tried to blow up the planet after watching Star Wars, failed, but all died.
11. They turned into Space Invaders and died.
12. They read the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, adopted Marvin's attitude to life, and died.

And finally, one from Nick:

13. A giant anti-nuke killed them all.