Flat Earth Conspiracy Theory

There are plenty of conspiracy theories on the Internet about how the NASA moon landings were a hoax. (There were 158,000 hits on Google for 'NASA moon landing hoax".) Well, what if the Soviets were also making it up as they went along?

Suppose the USSR was making things up so it looked like they were so much more technologically advanced than the USA (such as the first satellite, first dog in space, first man in space etc.), while the USA started to make things up because they hadn't managed to get any rockets working (Apollo 1 blew up on the launch pad), but didn't want to lose face to the USSR (e.g. first man on the moon).

This isn't meant to be the main point of this theory, so I'm not going to go on about why they think the NASA moon landings might have been a hoax (such as clearly visible strings on the moon lander, or the astronauts' uncanny similarity to Barbie dolls wrapped in tin foil, etc.)

However, if no-one's ever really been into space, then how do they know that the world is round?

 Just think - the main reason why so many people believe the world is round (apart from scientific indoctrination) is that there are so many satellite photographs of the (round) planet, taken from space.

(...despite the fact that the earth stubbornly refuses to look round, whichever way you look at it, and whatever distance you look.)

 But, if all the satellite images of the planet are really clever computer-generated fakes, then the world could really be flat, without anyone realising.

But, if the earth's flat, then how come no-one's fallen off the edge yet? Well, the answer to this also explains the strange disappearances at the Bermuda Triangle.

Currently, maps show the earth as if it was a round spheroid. This assumes that all of the continents and things are on a curved surface. As a result, they have to distort things a bit to get them onto a flat map.

But, if the earth really was a round disc, all of the continents would really be distorted onto a flat surface. As a result, they would look different to how we normally see them on maps. The diagram to the right shows how the continents (albeit badly drawn continents) could look on a flat disc, with the North pole at the centre and the South pole spread around the edge.

Suppose, though, that instead of the South pole being spread around the edge, the Bermuda Triangle was the edge. This would easily explain how many people, ships, aeroplanes etc. have disappeared (fallen off) in this area.

Now, for this to really count as a conspiracy theory, there needs to be someone actually doing the conspiring. So, who is behind this whole network of deception?

My guess is, it's the giant turtle.

Think about it. If the world really WAS a flat disc on the back of a giant turtle (or on the back of four giant elephants on the back of the turtle), then do you really think it would let everyone know? If the world knew about the giant turtle, they would probably go and dissect it, or experiment on it, or use its shell as the site for nuclear tests, or something. If you were a giant turtle, wouldn't that sort of thing really get on your nerves?

The best way for the turtle to avoid that sort of thing would be to convince the world that the world is really round. That way, there's no room for any giant turtles. So, by careful control of the world's media, and by a few planted round-earth-people like Copernicus or Galileo, the turtle has succeeded.

Or has he?

Well, no. The Internet is not the sort of thing giant turtles can easily control. So, just look at the amount of stuff on the Internet about the Flat Earth theory. (Look up 'flat earth' or 'giant turtle' on Google - see how many hits you get!) Slowly but surely, the world is awakening to the possibility of the earth being flat.

In the future, you will see that I am right.